Pansie.

I overreact. A lot. Over-analyze. The curse of women. Or at least women like myself. It. SUCKS.It's definitely pushed away someone special. He probably thinks I'm some sort of basket case. Completely out of the question for dating material ever. Or maybe he's just blind. We'll go with that. HA! Any ways..

Is it wrong to for once want to be the normal girl? The girl who does good in school, has the pretty hair, pretty clear face.. Nice boobs. And, gets the boy she fell for? I mean. Yeah, that's a story book girl. But, I mean. Maybe it is. I used to never question the Lord. Ever. But lately, I've asked Him several times, "Why me?" I always think of Mary when I hear those two words. And then I feel bad for questioning, when I am just being dramatic in thinking I have grounds to question. It's not like an Angel showed up in my car and said, "So, you're gonna be the baby momma of God's son." Nah, that's not even close to Mary's predicament. Ha.

Yet I still get scared of where God's going with my story. I shouldn't be scared.. The most talented Author in history is writing MY biography. I mean, geesh. And, I'm scared of how it's going to turn out?

"For I know the plans I have for you" Declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - God (Jeremiah 29:11)
I am such a pansie.  Yet, two verses later it says this: "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord."
I am a pansie, dude. A selfish, and love sick crazed, over-analyzer pansie woman.

Hopefully, some day, I'll learn.

I had to rant.